Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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