Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
