I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
