Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
