Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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