Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
