we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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