that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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