So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
