Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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