is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize