His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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