just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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