Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I have post one night stand depression
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