Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
