I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
