We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
