I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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