have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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