Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we're chasing vodka with high fives
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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