So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
