found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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