Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
