What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
