I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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