the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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