Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
