Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
