yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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