if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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