Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
