This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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