never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If I die, sorry about rent.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
