i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
