If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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