Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
