i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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