Sponge bath it is.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
