I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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