i don't like sucking hair
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
