just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
That accounts for only three of the penises
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
