I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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