He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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