Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
