Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
