The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
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