a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
