I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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