i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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