Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
