'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
