I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
