Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
