Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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