What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
